A Little Individual

Some of my friends have said Willa looks like a mixture of Sean and me, but I'm sure they're just being nice. I almost can't believe the resemblance in these first photos of Sean and Willa. Don't get me wrong, I think its fantastic that Willa looks so much like her dad. But I will continue to watch closely, wait patiently, and hope that someday I'll catch a glimpse of myself in her. Maybe she'll have my laugh, or my sense of style, or my mint aversion. I'll be happy with any obscure, insignificant similarity, just so that it gives a little reassurance that she is also a part of me. It still seems hard to believe that I am actually a mother, not just a babysitter to this precious child. That after all these years of effort and doubt, we have overcome infertility and we have Willa, a beautiful, wonderful, real person to love and to teach and to share our lives with. Somebody should really pinch me because it still seems like a dream!

I was reading on a parenting website that at this age, 10 months, you can start to predict your child's personality based on their temperament. I've been doing this all along. (Don't we all?) But having read an expert's take on it, my once-frivolous predictions seem to carry a bit more weight. So here is what I have observed so far: First of all, like her physical appearance, her personality has very little resemblance to mine. (Or Sean's, for that matter.) It is a strong one. She is extraordinarily decisive, determined, and confident. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it, without any reservations or fears. She is incredibly social and outgoing and revels in the steady flow of fresh faces that pass through the shop. Customers are often drawn to Willa, and they usually get back more than they have bargained for. After a quick introduction, Willa makes friends, and without any prompting, reaches out, and invites herself into their arms. Its cute, but also a little awkward. Mostly because I never know for sure when I'll get her back. She doesn't usually return to me nearly as freely as she leaves. Of course that's embarrassing and always makes me wonder what kind of unfit mother I must appear to be. I'm not, by the way. It is just evidence of another unexpected personality trait, her independence. Willa enjoys having her space and is very entertained by herself, playing, studying, and laughing at her own antics. She has recently developed this new smile that perfectly displays the lone tooth in her top gums. She crinkles her nose, squints her eyes, and holds the pose just long enough to get a hearty reaction from her audience. She is turning into a performer, a little clown, the life of the party.

I look forward to watching her personality take shape over the years to come. Sean and I expect to be endlessly entertained and challenged by this foreign, yet refreshing disposition. And if these first 10 months are any indication, I know we'll have so much fun!