Yesterday,
Jordan told me that she has decided to take a step back from her managerial role at Root and into a situation that will better suit her life with the new baby, Cash. We still have to iron out the details, but she plans to set up an office at home and continue to do bookkeeping for Root and The Roadrunner, while taking on more of the same for the Bakery. She'll hone in on her expertise in finance and bookkeeping, and streamline her workload, which will promote more efficiency and productivity, increased income, and decreased stress.
Of course I am disappointed, but I completely know where she is coming from. Not only do I appreciate her tremendously as an employee, I love her dearly as a friend and want what is best for her and her family. But still, it came as a surprise and well, feels like I've gotten dumped. We both laughed through giant tears as she assured me, "it's not you, it's just me." I couldn't help but to let my emotions get the best of me and failed miserably at keeping it together.
Jordan is a huge asset to the store, and I have come to rely on her for more than either of us realized...until now. Having her there enabled me to take a much needed break and adjust to motherhood. After 7 years of doing it all myself, it was easy to hand over the reins to someone so trustworthy and competent. And even now that I'm back in the picture, having Jordan managing has allowed me to enjoy the business I've built from a completely different perspective. She gave me peace of mind that was priceless. And it was comforting to have her around to share in the trials and triumphs (of both retail and motherhood.) But over the last few weeks since she's been back from maternity leave, she has given me strength as my confidant, another working mother, determined to have both, struggling to wear two heavy hats on a single, sleep-deprived head.
There was one busy day a month or so ago, when Jordan and I worked together...with both Willa and Cash...and no other help. I won't get into the details of it, but it was challenging. Tears were shed, and not just by the babies. By closing time, I was bedraggled from the hectic day of juggling, but also filled with fresh enthusiasm and grit, a sense of post-adolescent girl-power. I felt so proud to be a devoted mother and businesswoman, and satisfied with my unwillingness to choose between the two.
Now, I know Jordan is going to read this, and I hope she takes it as it is intended, as an enormous compliment. I respect her decision and completely understand and relate.
I have to keep reminding myself, though, that she isn't quitting. She'll still be around, just less often. And she will keep on doing an amazing job, insuring that the accounts are in balance and the bills are paid, and plenty more. I'll be back in charge at the shop, with my nose to the familiar grindstone. Willa will be with me, 'cause I won't have it any other way. And it will all be just fine because it has to be.
Then we went to 
