An Austin Playdate

On Wednesday, Willa and I made an impromptu little trip to Austin for lunch and a playdate with Jenifer and Reyn. Sondra and Chloe met up with us for a little while, too. It was so much fun and a great escape from the routine. I don't know why we don't do this more often.

Meet Chloe

Chloe Dean was born to my dear friend, Sondra Primeaux, on November 3rd. (Same day as Cash) She is a precious and teeny little girl. And I was lucky enough to finally meet her this week. I didn't get to hold her though, because Willa was all over the place. Hopefully we'll all get together again real soon. A belated congrats to Sondra and Mark (who, by the way, I still have not met...Sondra.)

New Year:New Game Plan

Yesterday, Jordan told me that she has decided to take a step back from her managerial role at Root and into a situation that will better suit her life with the new baby, Cash. We still have to iron out the details, but she plans to set up an office at home and continue to do bookkeeping for Root and The Roadrunner, while taking on more of the same for the Bakery. She'll hone in on her expertise in finance and bookkeeping, and streamline her workload, which will promote more efficiency and productivity, increased income, and decreased stress.

Of course I am disappointed, but I completely know where she is coming from. Not only do I appreciate her tremendously as an employee, I love her dearly as a friend and want what is best for her and her family. But still, it came as a surprise and well, feels like I've gotten dumped. We both laughed through giant tears as she assured me, "it's not you, it's just me." I couldn't help but to let my emotions get the best of me and failed miserably at keeping it together.

Jordan is a huge asset to the store, and I have come to rely on her for more than either of us realized...until now. Having her there enabled me to take a much needed break and adjust to motherhood. After 7 years of doing it all myself, it was easy to hand over the reins to someone so trustworthy and competent. And even now that I'm back in the picture, having Jordan managing has allowed me to enjoy the business I've built from a completely different perspective. She gave me peace of mind that was priceless. And it was comforting to have her around to share in the trials and triumphs (of both retail and motherhood.) But over the last few weeks since she's been back from maternity leave, she has given me strength as my confidant, another working mother, determined to have both, struggling to wear two heavy hats on a single, sleep-deprived head.

There was one busy day a month or so ago, when Jordan and I worked together...with both Willa and Cash...and no other help. I won't get into the details of it, but it was challenging. Tears were shed, and not just by the babies. By closing time, I was bedraggled from the hectic day of juggling, but also filled with fresh enthusiasm and grit, a sense of post-adolescent girl-power. I felt so proud to be a devoted mother and businesswoman, and satisfied with my unwillingness to choose between the two.

Now, I know Jordan is going to read this, and I hope she takes it as it is intended, as an enormous compliment. I respect her decision and completely understand and relate.

I have to keep reminding myself, though, that she isn't quitting. She'll still be around, just less often. And she will keep on doing an amazing job, insuring that the accounts are in balance and the bills are paid, and plenty more. I'll be back in charge at the shop, with my nose to the familiar grindstone. Willa will be with me, 'cause I won't have it any other way. And it will all be just fine because it has to be.

Patience is a Virtue

I know. I know. I know. I have not abandoned you. I'm still here. It's just that I have had so many thoughts running through my head, I have not been able to organize them and put them to a post. I'm currently working on a few new posts, with topics that span New Year's Resolutions, a play date and brand new girlfriend for Willa, and a major change at work, so please stay tuned...

Looking Back

I came across this photo and wanted to share. She's about 5 days old here. I can't believe how quickly the time has passed and how much she has changed! (And how much she has changed everything.)

Willa Turns 1

Willa's birthday, being only two days after Christmas, presents a challenge. The weather is unpredictable, schedules are full, budgets are tight, and everybody has had their fill of celebrating. So we decided on an unconventional plan to hold a small get-together on December 27th, and throw a big half-birthday party on June 27th each year. We kicked off this tradition Saturday, by hosting an intimate dinner at our house followed by birthday cake.

The birthday girl donned an adorable white tutu dress with puppies on it, a pink and white striped cardigan with babylegs and her gold tennies.

And even though it was so unnecessary, Willa received some very special gifts. They include two amazing block prints by Chris, a set of Russian Nesting Dolls, several great books, including one I wrote just for her, a set of alpaca finger puppets, a German-engineered pseudo-scooter, a keepsake bracelet and ring that were mine as a baby, and a huge box of hand-me-down comic book characters from Ira.

She stayed up well past her bedtime, playing with her new toys, and practicing walking (she's almost there.)

I get pretty emotional when I think about the past year. It's hard for me to accept that an entire year has gone by, in what seems like the blink of an eye. Learning to be Willa's mom and adjusting to the role have taken both a physical and emotional toll on me that I wasn't quite prepared for. But the love and fulfillment my daughter has brought to my life are beyond my wildest dreams. I am not the same person that I was a year ago. I have realized more about life, love, family, friendships, my own priorities, strengths, and weaknesses, than I ever realized was possible. These lessons have changed my perspective, my attitude, and, well, me.

So here I am, Mom to a toddler! The new-mom-excuse has officially expired. I guess I'm going to have to start acting like I know what I'm doing, and doing like the mother I strive to be. Whoa, the pressure!

Her First Christmas

Every year, on Christmas Eve, to Grandmother's house we go...Sandy makes chili and tamales and a whole bunch of cookies, and all of the Heeps gather for dinner and a gift exchange. The house overflows with Sean's brothers and sisters and their kids and dogs, and throughout the evening extended relatives and friends drop by. If you are familiar with the family, it's needless for me to say that there is never a dull moment. Willa ate half of a Christmas cookie, got a sugar buzz, and became the center of attention. (Imagine that!) And for Christmas, her Grandma gave her some miniature board books, a retro Fisher-Price Corn Popper, and doll, a sweet little white rocking chair.

Christmas morning came early, as Willa was eager to get up to see what Santa had delivered. Sean and I were only mildly reluctant to roll out of bed at 5:30 and start the festivities. Willa's eyes lit up when she spotted the tree and all of the colorful presents, and she headed straight for the refurbished baby bed, which was thoughtfully passed down from her cousin Alli. In it was her very own Madame Alexander doll, much like my dear old Suzy. After she gave her baby some attention, she delved into the rest of her gifts. She rolled around on her big green donut pillow and devoted minutes (at least) of concentrated play to her wooden stacking blocks and sorting block set. And with my help, she gave her Sit and Spin a whirl. I know she was enjoying herself, even though she never cracked a smile. It was an awful lot for such a little girl to take in. And she is so busy and determined, there just wasn't time for the nonsense of interacting with us. We had pancakes for breakfast and then a good, long nap, while Sean went hunting.

Lunch was spent at Chris's and Wanda's house, where Willa played with her cousin (actually her cousin's cousin,) Gage, who is just a few months older. I forgot to take my camera along, but there were some precious moments shared between the two of them. Willa got MORE presents...some books and puzzles and one of those cute ride-on inch worms.

Finally, we headed to my mom's, where we gorged ourselves with more good food (chicken spaghetti) and opened a ridiculous amount of Christmas presents. Willa's loot included a bunch of fun little items from Dooley's, like noise-making batons, horses, and a Santa light saber of sorts. She also got a barnyard set, a couple of outfits and pajama sets, a little push along car, a melamine feeding set, activity books, and twin African American baby dolls. Once again, she was overwhelmed, overstimulated, and overjoyed with the family and fun.

It was a wonderful first Christmas for Willa. She is so loved by so many. And times like these, spent with family and good friends, always remind me of that. It sure does make a mama proud.